Funnymen (and Women) We’re Following Now

Sarah Silverman

The notoriously (and proudly) raunchy stand-up comedienne and star of her self-titled Comedy Central show puts out a consistent stream of quality, laugh-out-loud-inducing tweets. Silverman’s quips range from off-color observational humor ("You never hear the success stories involving autoerotic asphyxiation. #unsungheroes") to cutting social commentary ("All girls with fake boobs have dogs named after either liquor or cars."). Then, there’s also the occasional disarming personal revelation: "I’m pretty sure that people who romanticize sadness have not known sadness. I know… it’s not a competition." Her place as the comedy fan’s ideal girlfriend is cemented.

Jim Gaffigan

The quintessential Midwestern comic and food fetishist (and surefire hall-of famer for "Pale Force" alone) is heavy into sarcastic photon gags, but also dishes his trademark self-effacing jokes: "The blender I never use: The health club membership of kitchen appliances." Then, there are his social observations: "The Hummer limo is really the douche bag chariot." And, there are copious junk food-based riffs: "Pizza Hut: ‘Is the pizza good?’ ‘Good? They make it in a hut!’ ‘Um I think I’ll just eat at Radio Shack thanks.’" Often, he thoughtfully plays with a topic over multiple posts, showing comedy fans how a pro puts jokes together.

Neal Brennan

There were a few tumultuous years over which Dave Chappelle went from relatively familiar face to household name, and, then, just as quickly, fled fame to become a reclusive genius. When Chappelle walked away from his show at its peak, few people took notice of the other genius behind the scenes: Dave’s skinny, white, head writer Neal Brennan. His tweets reveal the origin of the show’s darker, more acerbic bits: "Looks like that movie ‘Old Dogs’ is about Seth Green getting raped/eaten by a gorilla while Travolta and RWilliams watch. I bought 100 tix." Others belie a clear-eyed view of the way Hollywood works: "Oprah’s 1st question when she interviews Sarah Palin, ‘Why do u think people like us even though we’re clearly both huge assholes? You 1st’" He’s so funny that we’ll even forgive his apparent obsession with ‘Jersey Shore’: "Snooki at the tanning salon: "Hey Jerk-off, make me look like a coal miner."

Rainn Wilson

Though more a comedic actor than a stand-up comic, Wilson still keeps up with the best of them and his tweets explain why he’s the standout comic force on ‘The Office.’ His tweets often have the mock-stern voice of Dwight Schrute behind them: "Want to tackle childhood obesity? Start with Fat Albert. You’re welcome, America."; "You know what the biggest cause of inner city crime is? Malarkey. Too much malarkey and shenanigans." His tweets also venture into the playfully politically incorrect: "Apologies 2 the blind who were offended by my last tweet. The Blind Side is actually abt the dangers of highway driving & rear view mirrors." And, of course, he’s not afraid to be obscene — in a good way: "It’s so beautiful here today it’s like angels are jizzing all over the face of Los Angeles."

Weird Al Yankovic

Once exiled to the comedy ghettos along with gimmick artists like Gallagher or Carrot Top, the patron saint of nerdcore comedy has finally gotten the respect he deserves for his three-plus decades of unparalleled musical parody. His tweets reveal why: Weird Al is a sweetheart but still has a wicked sense of humor. Gracefully predicting his recent Grammy loss to Colbert, he quipped: "Wow, this is so exciting – in just three days I’ll be losing a Grammy to Stephen Colbert!" He’s not above taking the piss out of the Governator’s puzzlingly still-impenetrable accent: "I can’t wait to see this "Abidah" movie Schwarzenegger was talking about on the Golden Globes." And he loves skewering pop-cultural dross, too: "Hey, @BillGates, you seeing this??? RT @ashleytisdale: went grocery shopping and now cleaning the house!!!!" Without fail, Al’s tweets demonstrate his keen eye for finding the ridiculous in our culture.

via switched.com

The 2008 U.S. presidential election is the most Internet-fueled race to date. Check out these related tweets.

1. Abandoned by John Edwards: Before John Edwards dropped out of the presidential race, he dropped out of the Twitter community without a word.
2. Debate Torrent: USofA discussed torrenting the Democratic Debates.
3. Downing Street Shirks Back: Downing Street doesn’t engage in emotive political dialogue.
4. Barack Obama Gets Snarky: Sen. Obama mused about a second-place vice-presidency offer.

Popular Culture

These tweets focus on shameful pop-culture conversations.

1. Predicting “American Idol“: These users shared their “American Idol” preferences on Twitter.
2. “Showgirls“: This Twitter user admitted to watching “Showgirls.”
3. “American Idol” Spoilers: There were a variety of funny and embarrassing posts about spoiling the “American Idol” finale.

Corporate

See what kind of hilarity ensues when corporations try to use Twitter.

1. Comcast Complaints: Comcast found out what customers really think of it on Twitter.
2. Moonman: MTV Networks tries to reach out via Twitter.
3. The New York Times: The New York Times uses its Twitter feed to push headlines, so it’s no wonder that the majority of subscribers are just other The New York Times feeds.
4. Innocent Drinks on Twitter: Innocent Drinks has been criticized for creating a one-sided, underused Twitter account.
5. Comcast’s One-Person Outage: Michael Arrington publicly complained about his Comcast connection and got results.

Society

These tweets highlight a few embarrassing social moments.

1. Banned from The 2008 Time 100: Julia Allison realized that she’s in a class of her own.
2. Laurel Touby Brags: Laurel sent out a few tweets about her dinner with two “Bloomergonians.”
3. Drunk Twittering: Zappos.com Inc. offers a warning against Twittering while drunk.
4. Twitter Wine Tasting: Project Vino held a Twitter wine-tasting party.
5. Arrested: A University of California, Berkeley grad student told his Twitter followers that he’s been arrested, and they came to his rescue.

At Work

Twitter isn’t all fun and games — sometimes, you bring it to work.

1. Fired: Former Yahoo! Inc. employee Ryan Kuder used Twitter to document the progress of his layoff from the company.
2. Hard at Work: Alex Payne revealed the real reason behind Twitter’s scaling problem.

Love and Family

These tweets get a little bit intimate.

1. Twitter Marriage Proposal: This couple got engaged via Twitter.
2. Forgotten Engagement: This couple forgot about their anniversary.
3. Getting Personal: This user told Twitter about her sexual needs.
4. Twitter Baby: Robert Scoble microblogged his newborn son’s hospital delivery.

Mistakes

Check out these tweets that highlight accidents like unintentional pornography and needle-swallowing.

1. GroupTweet: A user of GroupTweet accidentally posted her direct messages to the group account, sharing private conversations with a number of different people.
2. Unintentional Pornorgraphy: One Twitter user checked out translation work, which turned out to be pornography.
3. Twitter Suicide: A man contemplates suicide, and his Twitter friends sort of come to his rescue.
4. Matching Titles: Mashable used the same title as SocialTimes.com about an hour after the original article was posted.
5. Opposite Day: Twitter had a bug that caused some users to log in and send updates as other people.
6. Trashing PC Magazine: Steve Rubel, of public-relations firm Edelman, posted that he throws his free PC Magazine in the trash, which prompted a backlash from clients who pitch to the magazine.
7. Needle Swallowing: Jenny of The Bloggess worried that she might have inadvertently swallowed a needle.
8. Primal Tweet: One user let out a primal scream of 140 uppercase A’s with no breaks, screwing up the formatting for his own Twitter and his followers.

Spoofs

In these tweets, the joke was on the readers.

1. PayPerTweet: On April Fools’ Day, ProBlogger launched PayPerTweet, an advertising service.
2. PodTech.net Firing: Chuck Olsen tweeted that a PodTech.net employee was fired, and everyone believed him.

Anger

Tweets may grow old and tempers may calm, but these messages will live on forever.

1. An Interviewer’s Shame: This interviewer defended her highly criticized questions.
2. Unfollow Me: Leo Laporte called for a boycott of Kevin Rose but later regretted it, as he was “drunk and out of control.”
3. Blaine Cook on Downtime: Blaine Cook, former architect of Twitter, took a cheap shot about Twitter’s downtime using Twitter.
4. Twitter Racism: Hayden Black posted a surprisingly rude tweet about Kanye West’s dead mother.
5. Name-Calling: After Twitter founder Evan Williams overheard a woman call the service boring, he mockingly called her a bitch via Twitter, and Valleywag posted it as a serious story.
6. A Tweet Too Far: Although Twitter’s terms of service forbids harassment, one user has trouble with enforcing this rule.

At Home

Twitter is often used for mobile updating, but these users decided to take home use to a whole new level.

1. The Clapper: Justin Wickett set up a remote switch triggered by Twitter.
2. Alarm-Clock Shame: Chris Adams uses Twitter to shame himself into getting up on time.
3. Botanicalls: This tool will let you know when your plants are low on water.

Fakers

It’s hard to say who these tweets embarrass more — the people who wrote them or the people being impersonated.

1. Dvorak Versus Rupley: The Cranky Geeks practiced Twitter impersonation.
2. CNN: A CNN spoof poked fun at Hillary Clinton’s emotional state.
3. The Dark Lord: Darth Vader tweeted about the balance of evil and more.

Funny

These tweets are shameful but funny.

1. Toilet Humor: This comic followed a few Twitter updates that are a little immature and best kept private.
2. Plane Crash: One user said that he or she can’t wait to crash on the plane.
3. Twenty-Two Incher: This tweet discussed a computer monitor, but it sounded like it was referring to something else.
4. Twitter Cough: In Michael Arrington’s test of TwitterFone, he sent out a coughing tweet.
5. Awkward: Michael Arrington tweeted about Robert Scoble visiting his house after writing a critical post about advertising.

List from: insidecrm

[Image Source: flowfestival.com]

Brit-pop princess and original queen of MySpace Lily Allen has her own quirky sense of style. She’s not your typical princess of beauty, but her unique style and personality pushes her right into the top ten. A dotted Moonshine bikini would be a great match for her body type. She often responds to rumors through her new twitter account @lilyroseallen.

#9 Tila Tequila

[Image Source: celebridiot.com]

If you’ve seen this MySpace celebrity’s reality show or music videos, you know shyness isn’t one of her qualities. A Victoria’s Secret Sequin floral bikini would be great for showing off her sexy assets.@officialTilaer is her personal twitter account where she says she reads and replies to all messages sent to her.

#8 DJ Tamara Sky

[Image Source: myspace.com]

Possibly the hottest DJ on the planet…literally. Tamara Sky has been Miss Puerto Rico Bikini and was even on the cover of the Mexican edition of Playboy. A Vix Jen bikini that Sarah Michelle Gellar was seen wearing would have this goddess of turntables turning heads. Follow her tweets here: @TamaraSky.

#7 Brooke Burke

[Image Source: googlecashtip34.blogspot.com]

Recently, Brooke Burke won the 7th season of Dancing With The Stars and started her own online maternity store. It’s possible her days of posing for Playboy, FHM, and Maxim are behind her, but that doesn’t mean she’d ignore a comfy cotton Victoria’s Secret ribbon-trim triangle top bikini. As a modern mum she actively tweets on @brookeburke.

#6 Audrey Kitching

Alternative model Audrey Kitching claims she’s "changing the beauty standards one day at a time" with her clothing line at Hot Topic. We don’t know if she’d try on a pink & yellow Bubble Gum bikini, but it’d definitely match her her style. Her real twitter is: @RealAudreyKitch.

#5 Ashanti

[Image Source: sherdog.net]

When the "Princess of R&B" isn’t making seductive songs with her boyfriend rapper Nelly, she’s tearing up the runway as a model for charity. Who wouldn’t want see a music video with her in the Two Tone from J Valentine? Read her tweets on: @AshantiD.

#4 Taylor Swift

[Image Source: wallpaperbase.com]

The New York Times described Swift as "one of pop’s finest songwriters" while we would describe 19-year old country star Taylor Swift as one of the finest girls on twitter. @taylorswift13 is her official twitter. We’d like to see her sport a saucy sequin silver bikini to add some spice to her innocent beauty.

#3 Jessica Alba

[Image Source: celebritywonder.com]

A Maya Signature bikini, or just about any other type of swimwear she’s been seen in, looks amazing on this Hollywood actress. Dubbed "Sexiest Woman in the World" by FHM in 2007, it’s safe to say she’s the sole reason Fantastic Four had a sequel. Read her daily tweets here: @RealJessicaAlba.

#2 Hayden Panettiere

[Image Source: nbc.com]

Hayden Panettiere may wear a cheerleader outfit on the TV show "Heroes," but we all know a Vix Ju bikini she’s been seen wearing would be a better fit. It’s too bad those Neutrogena commercials only show her beautiful smile. See her twitter on: @hpanettiere, although she’s not been much of a tweeter so far.

Update: We’re now less sure this account is genuine which could disqualify Hayden from our top 50 list.

#1 Adriana Lima

[Image Source: hamovhotov.com]

The number one woman on our list, is perhaps the most obvious. If you’ve seen a Victoria’s Secret or Maybelline commercial, then you know Brazilian model Adriana Lima would look stunning in a Victoria’s Secret ruffled triangle bikini. Catch her tweets here: @angeladriana.

We couldn’t help but give Adriana Lima the top spot when her Twitter profile features such a hot shot of her in a bikini:

via: bikinibuys.com